


Service dog - do not pet!

by Nitchen



Series: Leo/Paul [1]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler, Original Work
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Cute, Disability, Disabled Character, Dogs, EDs, Filou is a cutie, Gay, Grocery Shopping, Grocery Store, How Do I Tag, I Ship It, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I was kinda on high meds when i wrote this, Leo is my comfort boii, M/M, Oh My God, Origin Story, Original Fiction, Service Animals, Service Dogs, Why Did I Write This?, also have i said that they are gay?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27422230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitchen/pseuds/Nitchen
Summary: Shopping with a service dog can be very difficult. Leo and Paul are also aware of this.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Leo/Paul [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2105070
Kudos: 2





	Service dog - do not pet!

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy!  
> This is another little story about my two OC's, Leo and Paul. Of course Filou is also part of it.  
> I wrote this piece last week, at night because I couldn't fall asleep.  
> I hope you like it

"Got everything?" asked the German as he carefully closed the brown-haired man's jacket. Today was one of the days when the smaller man's bones ached, he needed his walking stick to walk long distances. He actually had his wheelchair too, but it always gave him a funny look, and the looks made him panic and start shaking. Then he was always alarmed by his service dog, called Filou. The young Australia Shepherd panting happily waited for the man with the shoulder-length black hair to put the waistcoat on him.

This was a simple black waistcoat with many patches that said _'SERVICE DOG' 'DO NOT PET'_ , with a stop sign on one. Another, attached to the side of the waistcoat, had _'NO TOUCH. NO TALK. NO EYE CONTACT'_. Other clues included a patch in the shape of a circle with a dog's paw on it and _'ANXIETY ALERT DOG'_ and _'PANIC DISORDER'_ below it. Under the small black paw on the white-red badge was _'PTSD'_ which stood for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. On the one under the round patch was a rectangular one with a light blue bow on it. ' _NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE'_ was written on it. The light blue ribbon was also a sign of PTSD. _'MEDICAL ALERT - DO NOT DISTRACT'_ was written on another one. ' _Drop it like it's P.O.T.S'_ with a black background and light blue border. A heartbeat from an ECG measurement was shown on this patch. _'I'M HIS LIFELINE'_ was on another round badge. In the middle of these was also a heartbeat from an ECG, but above it was a small paw. _'DO NOT DISTRACT'_ was written on these again. _'IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY DO NOT SEPERATE SERVICE DOG & HANDLER'_ was written on the last patch which was attached to this waistcoat.

Of course, Leo had more than one, after all, he thought his dog should always be stylish. Whatever suited the weather and the latest trends - okay maybe not seen like that at first, but he enjoyed decorating waistcoats for his Filou and looking for new great patches. He had even thought about designing and making some himself, and his boy also thought that the brown-haired dog had enough creativity to do so, but he was often tired and weakened by his illness, and slept a lot. His depressions also made it difficult for him on some days, as did his anxiety disorder and his very rare heart defect. The young man had a folder full of chronic ailments that made life difficult for him every day.

He never had a day without medication or pain. Especially in the cold season, it was quite bad, his joints were hurting him, he had chest pains and wanted to just go to the warmth with an electric blanket and cuddle and snog with his boy on some of these days. Quietly giggling and happy.

But now they had to get out, into the rain. The black-haired one checked again if everything was okay with Filou and Leo. The pockets of the dog's waistcoat were closed. Inside them were Leo's emergency ID and a service dog card, telling what such a dog was for, what questions to ask the dog's dealer and more. Then he gave him a grey leather leash with a black leash wrap attached. The leash wrap had _'do not speak'_ , _'do not look'_ , _'do not touch'_ , _'do not take pictures'_ and a red stop sign on it. The brown-haired man put the big leash around his shoulder assistance dogs did not need a waistcoat or proof that they were medical equipment. Still, Leo found it safer this way, people still wanted to pet the Australia Shepherd, but they were less likely to do so when he was wearing his equipment. Also attached to this was a small foldable dog bowl made of silicone in blue colour with a snap hook. The blue merle coloured dog also had a nice collar on, sitting well-behaved next to his owner. He carefully put the small training pouch around his waist and then fastened it. In this pouch are treats for Filou, after all his best should be rewarded for his work.

"Yes," the smaller man said, leaning against his walking stick. He didn't look very good. Under his eyes were strong circles and the brown-haired man was very pale in the face. He had not slept properly because of pain. His whole body was hurting from head to toe, but with painkillers, he could at least get things done and look as if he was in perfect health. Well, although he was not. Unfortunately, you couldn't see his history, his illnesses, the pain he had to go through every day. From the outside, you could only see a small, pale man who had a walking stick and a dog. Many here in Germany did not know that there were assistance dogs or thought he didn't need a dog, he wasn't sick or anything. In any case, he didn't look like that. Theoretically, he should have been using his wheelchair today, but he felt weaker with them psychologically than physically. Leo's attitude towards himself was not the best, he said of himself that he was weak, pathetic but it wasn't like the black-haired clerk often told him.

Leo was strong, stronger than others he knew. He was a fighter, even if he was not yet aware of it himself. When the black-haired man put on his jacket, Leo had to yawn softly. He wasn't tired, he just always got up later than nine in the morning. Since he couldn't work at the moment because of his disabilities, he was at home all day, mostly in pyjamas, in bed with Filou and slept, cuddled with him or watched Netflix or read. In the afternoon, when Paul came home from work, he made something to eat, then usually went back to sleep or watched Netflix or read again.

Reading was his greatest hobby, even if lying in bed and watching his series was less strenuous than that. But Paul wasn't angry about it, rather worried. He did not mind that his lover could not work because of his limitations. He received a nursing allowance of just over 200 euros, which was the first level of care. With this money, he could buy medical products, such as disinfectants, gloves and other things from the pharmacy.

He was also 80% severely handicapped, with a disability card that testified to this. Here in Germany, he was allowed to use public transport free of charge with his markers, the G and H were free of charge and besides, the two of them got an exemption of the motor vehicle taxes, even if Paul had the driving licence and therefore drove the car. It was a financial relief for them because the taxes were not exactly cheap. Since Leo moved to his boy in Germany two years ago, a lot had changed. His illnesses increasingly made his everyday life more difficult. The move had been very difficult for the young Englishman, after all, it had taken a lot of energy.

Paul and his parents had supported him energetically, but there had been complications. He had fainted while carrying a box downstairs and had fallen down the stairs. He had had to go to the hospital, and there his condition had only worsened. After four weeks he was allowed to return home. Paul had gone to see him every weekend and looked after him, and then after another month, the doctors had allowed him to move to Germany.

When he was finally able to get in the car with Paul, he had been so happy. His heart had been beating so fast, but only because of him. On the drive to his new home they had laughed and talked the whole time, and as it turned out, they were still in love today. The black-haired man held out his hand to the smaller one, which he took, looking briefly into his blue eyes. Then the office worker bent down briefly to kiss the smaller one. As their lips met, Leo's heart filled with love and joy, and Paul's too. It was as if the dark clouds of the rainy day were now made of pink candyfloss and all of them made for a moment of the second not to exist. Their love was stronger than any illness, they both knew that. Soon they would marry, very quietly, in the small circle of the family, if all went well. After all, they had been engaged for over two years, yet they kept putting off the marriage for a while.

"Come..." he supported him carefully while Leo looked only briefly at his dog. A sign that he could go off. The brown-haired man walked slowly beside the Germans, luckily they lived on the first floor, so the sick man only had to walk down a few steps. The Australian Shepherd followed him wherever he went, glancing briefly at the brown-haired man. He had a job to do, accompanying the book lover through his daily routine and helping him. He always focused them on him when it was necessary, gazing fondly at his master. He was a 'fine one', as Paul always called him. The German spoke completely in English when he spoke to his boy, but he often used German words in everyday life. Although both could speak German and English, Leo still had problems with the language, it was very difficult for him, but he could say some sentences in German.

"Filou Focus." he murmured and looked at his dog, the dog looked at him immediately. "Good boy..." he muttered and smiled softly, then he opened the back door of the car and Filou jumped in immediately. Leo gave him another treat and then closed the door. The black-haired man held the door to the passenger seat open for him and carefully helped him get in. The young man held his black walking stick and thanked him softly, Paul gently kissed his cheek and helped him buckle up, then closed the door and walked around the car to get in and buckle up himself. He glanced briefly at Filou again, who had laid down in the back seat and closed his eyes but was alert in case Leo needed anything. He leaned back and looked at his fiancé with a grin.

He turned on the radio and drove off. Then he turned on the windscreen wiper. It was typical October weather, soon Halloween was around the corner and the young man was full of horror fever. He had already bought many things, sweets for the little ones. He also wanted to dress up. Just like Leo, but he still had to convince him. After all, the brown-haired man was rather a little scaredy-cat and didn't like scary movies or scary stories. Which were not good for him because of his heart. After all, he could get half a heart attack during a jumpscare and then have more anxiety all day long. Paul respected this, which is why they didn't watch horror movies on 31st, but Disney movies. The black-haired man had completely changed his life to the needs, likes and dislikes of his lover, for him this was no problem. As long as both of them cuddled in the evening and watched a series, nothing mattered to him. He wanted Leo to feel comfortable, he wanted him to smile. Nothing more.

"Where do we go first?" Leo then wanted to know.

"To _Real_..." he said softly and with a grin. Real was a big chain store in Germany. That's where the two men did most of their shopping, but also in other shops.

"Okay," he said with a smile and waited. The journey took quite a while, there was a traffic jam and it felt like an eternity for the chronically ill man, but he still enjoyed the quiet time with his lover in the car. Only the soft tooting of the radio could be heard in the background, but he didn't mind. He silently put his hand on the black-haired man's, which was on the gear knob. He grinned gently and held his boy's hand while he drove on. The German gently stroked the back of the younger man's hand with his thumbs.

For quite a while they said nothing and just looked at the road, the rain pelted against the car windows and it was really pleasant, reassuring. Leo liked the rain, but he was not a big fan of thunderstorms. With thunderstorms, he always got scared and trembled. Then Filou and the black-haired man were always there for him, calming him down and trying to take his mind off things. But Filou wasn't only there for Leo's mental suffering, he also made sure he always took his medicine and brought it to him, striking when he felt he had to sit down or when the young man's heart was beating much too fast. The brown-haired man was really thankful that he had a service dog. Some people were even worse off than him and they didn't have the money to get a dog and pay for training. Luckily Leo's parents had been mating for a dog since he was born and when they had the money together they had got him an Aussie and sent him to a training organisation. Without Leo knowing.

One day, when they had picked up the Blue Merle, Leo was fourteen, the little one had been so happy and had even cried, cuddled the dog and didn't let go of him the whole drive home from the trainer. At first, Paul had been afraid of him, he had had very bad experiences with dogs as a child and when he saw the young dog for the first time, oh God he had pulled him away from the dog in panic, so the dog barked loudly Hörbär and Leo jumped up carefully. Once the brown-haired teenager had explained to him that this was his service dog and what he was doing for him, Paul was all set. He had been very suspicious at first, but over time he had grown to love the dog. He was really a good boy. As the years went by, Leo and Filou melted into a team. They went through thick and thin, they had seen worse but also good times.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked softly and looked at him briefly.

"To the bookshop anyway...I need new reading material..." he said softly and smiled sweetly.

"I thought so," said the man with the shoulder-length hair, grinning. He already knew his partner inside and out. He knew what he wanted as soon as he looked into his eyes. No matter what it was.

Their relationship was like a book, as Leo usually said. They never knew what was going to happen on the next page. Every day, every new page could change everything. From one moment to the next, Leo could feel bad, so bad that he had to be transported to the emergency room, so bad that he lay in bed moaning, in severe pain that seemed to go on and on. He really just wanted it to be over in those moments. Didn't think about the consequences of his death then. To Paul, Filou...to his parents...his partner...his siblings...all would sink into deep mourning. Everyone who knew him knew that the life expectancy of the smaller man was not very high, but he tried to make the best of his life. He did not try to live every day as if it was his last. This would probably plunge him into even deeper depressions. He just wanted to make the best out of his day, even though most of the time he just lay in bed and slept.

Paul didn't tell him often, because he knew Leo didn't want to hear those words, but with every breath he took, he was proud of him. He had never met a stronger person than the brown-haired one, and he was sure he would not. His fiancé was too good a person. He had never hurt a fly and treated every person he met gently, no matter who it was. He could always stay with Paul to smile. This slender face with the green, glittering eyes looked too sweet. Paul had been secretly in love with him since the first time he met him, but he didn't dare to admit his feelings for quite a while. He was far too afraid of the reaction of the younger one because at that time he didn't know yet that his great love was gay. The brown-haired man had also had a crush on him long before their first kiss, but back then he had spent a lot of time in hospitals, even more than today, where he was already in hospital at least three times a month because either something was wrong with his kidney liver or blood values, he was in a lot of pain or simply too weak to lift his arm.

"I just don't have any more to read." He yawned softly, tired. "And there's nothing left on Netflix either..." he murmured softly.

"How about I buy you the books?" he asked him.

"Haven't you always done that anyway?" he muttered. "I don't want you to throw all your money out the window just for me...you'll have to buy something...clothes or something for your collection..." Leo said and looked at the black-haired man. The young man was a big fan of kawaii fashion, even if he sometimes didn't look like that at first glance, so anything that looked cute, pastel and colourful. He was also a big anime fan, had a small but nice collection of figures in his 'little room' as he always called it. There he sometimes worked from home, if the work allowed him. He was always happy then because he could be with Leo, who was always in the bedroom.

"I earn enough...and you know that..." he murmured and looked at him. "Anything for you..." he whispered. "I love you..."

That was the sentence where every argument ended. Smiling, the brown-haired man kissed the cheek of the other while the car stopped at a traffic light. The larger one's cheeks turned red while Leo giggled. So sweet was his boy. He was always so loving and funny, simply the best man you could imagine. Whenever the brown-haired man was in a bad way, he always tried to make his great love smile or laugh. Because he should not sink into self-pity, on the contrary. Life was much too beautiful, one should take advantage of it and enjoy it to the full. Doing what made you happy. But if your partner is chronically ill, you cannot plan. One day the heart patient could be running happily around the house, and the next day he could be lying in bed quietly, with severe pain that made him cry.

Paul was with him at such moments, when he was not shopping or at work. Sometimes he would call in sick himself so that he could take care of him fully. His fiancé was much more important than the paperwork, which he had to catch up on. But Leo always said that he was not that important. After all, a cripple like him should not be loved by such a gentle and understanding man. They had already had dozens of conversations about how the brown-haired man was not a big burden for Paul and that he would love him forever; no matter what the evil and unfair life had planned for them.

The black-haired man then looked around, drove to the large shopping centre car park and sighed softly, everything was full, it was raining even harder now. The only free place was handicapped place. They are not allowed to park there, because Leo was not unusually disabled or blind. Only then were you given the blue parking permit here in Germany, which said that you could park in such places. For people like Leo, who were normally walking disabled, the only thing that was available to them was a free public transport ticket, like the orange parking card, which was always in the car. With these, they could, for example, park in no-parking zones or at parking meters and ticket machines without paying a fee and for an unlimited period. He looked around with a sigh and saw another free space, but it was at the very end of the car park. Leo could not even walk down the stairs without experiencing shortness of breath and his heart suddenly starting to beat very fast. Nevertheless, this was the only way to find a parking space for the time being.

When the black-haired man had parked, he looked at his partner. "I'll carry you, okay?" he asked quietly and switched off the engine. The brown-haired one just snorted and said he could go himself, it wasn't that far. So he got out and opened the back door of the little car, unbuckled Filou and tied the leash around his shoulder. The young man held on to the dog harness. Filou made sure that he could keep his balance better, as well as the stick, which was only meant to provide further support. Paul had offered him to look for a walker, but Leo just turned him down. After all, he thought it made him look like an old man, even though it was only a tool to help him keep his balance. As he continued on his way, Paul quickly followed him. But even after a few minutes of walking, his legs began to give way, getting weaker and weaker and shaking all at once, he threatened to fall. The black-haired man carefully supported him took the other man's walking stick while Filou was alarmingly about to jump up at the brown-haired man, but Paul just said not to do so and carried the brown-haired man to the entrance of the centre, carefully placed him on the bench placed in front of them. He had attracted the glances of some people, but he didn't mind. He stroked his fiancé across his back and held his hand carefully.

After a few minutes, Leo had regained some strength and decided to start shopping. Filou wagged his long rod and looked at him cheerfully while Paul fetched a shopping trolley and told Leo to push it. It would probably help him to keep his balance, he just said to him. Sighing, the brown-haired man nodded and went through the revolving door with the shopping trolleys, his dog was by his side and Paul went after him, already drawing a few glances. Something that Leo didn't like at all. He didn't want everyone to see him as a cripple, but this was not possible at the moment. Because the slow and tired steps of the young bookworm probably caught everyone's eye, and the fact that he had a walking stick was also noticeable. The Hickman catheter that could be seen under his jumper.

These catheters are used when patients need central venous access for long periods. Before Leo got this catheter, he had been really thin, you would have thought he had anorexia, but he did not. His body does not absorb some food at all and often he hangs whimpering in front of the toilet and wants it all to be over. He only wanted one thing; to be normal. But with chronic illnesses, this was not possible. You always had to be prepared for everything and could not plan. He was now tired of dragging Paul into this shit, which is why he had already told him several times that he could leave if he wanted to. He could leave him and find a new person to start a small, happy family with and enjoy his life. But again and again, Paul said that he had already found his great love, namely him, him all alone. He was so innocent and sweet, could make him laugh every day and was always there for him when he needed someone to talk to. The two had already been through far too much to separate, and they both knew that.

Intimacy was only possible when Leo felt really good and capable. Like day trips, the sex between the two was a question of the state of the other. Because Leo was hypermobile, he also had EDS and could therefore quickly dislocate his joints and for some, this was really painful. Therefore he was not allowed to do heavy things and often got bruises on his body. During sex, he could dislocate his joints quickly and both of them didn't want to go to the emergency room and explain why he had dislocated his pelvis, for example, because there was always a doctor on the night shift whom Leo knew and it was just too embarrassing for him and Paul. And when they made the bed squeak, it was only very carefully, with lots of kissing and gentle, loving whispers about how important they were to each other. Leo had got used to these gentle touches from the very first time. Whenever Paul's hands would sting over the other's hips, his big hands would make his heart beat faster and faster, but not for medical reasons as usual. It was a good feeling, no rather a beautiful one. The love between the two was so strong and nobody could separate them. Not even the worst diagnosis could do that.

First, they walked through the corridors and looked around, it was not so crowded, which was probably because it was still very early, but there were still some people there. Some walked quickly past the shops while others were busy with their children and still others looked around quietly like the young couple. The dog at Leo's side drew people's attention, but the dog just looked at his master and did his job. Leo hoped that this time no one would get the idea to distract him, because if he fainted Filou could notice this beforehand and always alerted him, and today, like the last few days, he was not doing so well. He needed constant help and a few days ago he couldn't even go to the toilet by himself. A specially employed nurse had to come to his home once a week and give him his painkiller, the strongest thing on the market so far, morphine. It is used to treat strong and severe pain, for example in cancer patients. But for him, it helped with his severe pain. Some days, he would just lie in bed and look as if he was on drugs. Then he would always groan and want nothing more than a cuddle. Paul didn't want to leave him alone on those days and often called in sick, although he wasn't.

However, the brown-haired man's hopes that no child or adult would pet his dog today would not be distracted for long, as a little girl, probably only 4 years old, came running up to him with the words _'doggy'_ and happily stroked the Aussie. Leo smiled softly, had forgotten for a moment that she was a stranger and distracted Filou, but he also wanted a child, a small family, but this was not possible. Adoption would be considered, but only in a few years. Paul sighed and carefully pushed the girl away, crouched down from her while the mother arrived. She had the typical 'Karen' haircut, which meant that she had a slightly longer bob. And she didn't look too ly about her daughter not being allowed to pet the dog. Filou just kept looking at Leo, concentrating on him while Paul explained everything.

"You know, he is not a pet. He's helping my boy Leo to get through the day..." he started...haha... _standing_...the brown-haired man could hardly do that without leaning on something, but the brown-haired man thought it was kind of cute that Paul tried to explain to the girl what a service dog was. He thought he was medical equipment, which was true, but the mother just snorted, took her daughter's hand and pulled her away, saying that the two of them were 'not normal' and left the two men standing there. Sighing, the black-haired man stood up, stroked Filou, who was happy. He gave him a treat, he was a good boy.

Then he kissed the brown-haired man's cheek and they went on. First, they went to a grocery shop and started their shopping. The young man always made lists of what they needed from which shops. At the bookstore, there was just Leo's drugs because, well, the brown-haired man needed good books to live on. Books, series, Filou and Paul. That was all he needed to live - he left out the constant check-ups at the hospital and the many drugs he had to take. Although these were vital for him, he did not like to think about them. He would give anything to live a normal life. His boy and his dog were always there for him, but he also wanted to do everyday things that he couldn't do on his own.

He looked at him and then went and got a loaf of bread, enough for both of them for a week. He put it in the slicer while Leo looked at him in silence and then smiled, took a few rolls and put them in a bag, Filou sat down quietly on the floor and looked around, but then put the focus back on his master who was waiting for his fiancé and then put the body of bread in the cart. It wasn't warm, which was good because warm bread was not easy to cut. The three of them then went on, although there were books in the grocery shop, like hoovers and other things, Leo only bought some over the internet or in bookshops. Most of the time, however, it was more via the internet, because the brown-haired man didn't like to go shopping, but he had to get out and Paul said that fresh air and contact was good for him. Although he only had him as a . He had never really had any s. Not since first grade, because he had always been different, preferring to read rather than play or talk with the girls and boys in his class.

Paul was a bit more open, had some contacts, most of them from the internet, and they knew Leo and liked him, very much. They always wished him the best when surgery was imminent and was happy to listen to him, but Leo preferred to be alone. As they walked on, Leo discovered that there were already Christmas biscuits on the shelves and he immediately took a bag of speculoos and gingerbread with him. They always baked biscuits every year, and there were no Christmas cakes yet, so these should be enough for now. Paul had to grin and look around.

"Filou come..," Leo said softly and smiled as his dog looked at him and walked on. He took a treat and gave it back to him. "Fine boy..."

"We still have sausage, cheese and milk..." There was always a movie night, and they always watched one or more Netflix movies. Sometimes there was something good on TV, but that was rare. Paul always wanted to watch either anime movies or historical films or documentaries, while Leo loved hospital dramas. Except for the German ones, which he found terrible. He loved Doctor House, Grey's Anatomy and other hospital series, but he also loved Disney films and documentaries about animals, as well as romances. Ever since he was a little boy, he had been interested in gay romances. His parents were very tolerant and they both lived in Scotland and had a small farm. They went to visit them once a year if Leo's condition allowed it. In summer, for a fortnight. Leo loved nature and one day he wanted to live with Paul in a house in the countryside, isolated from everyone and happy. The black-haired man wanted to live in Japan, where everyone was nice. The young man loved Japanese culture and wanted to move to the land of the rising sun. The flats and houses there were quite expensive, but one day they would make his wish come true. Leo also really liked the country and had already started to learn Japanese. But just like his German skills, he failed with the Japanese language, but he never gave up hope and Paul loved him all the more for that.

The tap of the Australian Shepherd's paws on the floor of the shop was barely audible, but some eyes were fixed on the young Englishman's service dog. There had been many incidents where they had not allowed Leo to enter just because of his dog, but in this shopping chain, they knew the chronically ill man well and did not even ask. The staff even greeted Filou but did not give him any treats or anything else, which Leo did not like very much because of fear. Only Paul and members of his family were allowed to pet his dog, there were no exceptions. Only once, when they were in the hospital and were just walking through the corridor of the ward and a little girl came to meet him. She was only four years old, accompanied by her mother and a nurse. The little girl had been bald and had had a nasal probe. The two men did not need to think about it at all, because what she had suddenly became clear to both of them; cancer. When the little mouse had seen the dog, she became very happy and immediately hugged him. Her mother wanted to pull her back immediately because she knew that this dog was an assistance dog and one shouldn't pet them, but Leo had only looked at them gently and allowed it. He was always very soft with sick children because he had been to hospitals very often as a child and had always been happy to be with the animals on his parents' farm.

"Filou Focus..." the young man murmured in English, his dog could understand German but the couple only spoke English in everyday life. The Blue Merle immediately looked at him ly, it just looked as if he would smile at him. His owner smiled at him and then looked back at his partner, who was just about to fetch milk and put two milk cartons in the shopping basket. The brown-haired man then smiled softly and got a little kiss from the bigger man, they walked further through the aisles and looked around, also bought some things that were not on the list like some minced meat, pudding and other food. During the whole shopping there was no incident in which someone disturbed Filou in his job and that was really good. When they were on their way to the checkout, Paul wanted to check the make-up again as he needed new eyeliner - even though he was a man, he put make-up on. There was nothing wrong with that either, was there? The young man was very tough when it came to sayings and funny looks, after all the black-haired office worker had been wearing dresses and skirts since kindergarten, but Leo still worried about him sometimes.

His outfit, however, was relatively normal today; under his black leather jacket he wore a pink pullover that his guardian had bought him once. He wore trainers and blue jeans. His love for pastel clothes and sweet stuff didn't show very much today, but he had some small, sweet hair clips in his hair today, which held everything together and made sure that his hair didn't twirl around his face like crazy. Leo was wearing a normal grey jumper today and a slightly thicker brown coat over it, with matching black trousers. He stood still and suddenly it came over him. He felt a feeling of fear and began to tremble, put his hands on his face and began to breathe louder. Filou immediately became aware and jumped on him, this was a sign that he should sit down, which the young man also did with shaky legs. It wasn't the fact that Paul was gone, so he probably had a panic attack. He did not like to be around so many people. For an hour or so he did, but then the panic started and the shop was full of strangers who silently passed brown-haired people sitting on the floor and continued their shopping. Paul was nowhere to be seen so Filou was on his own to comfort his master. He sat half on him and licked his face, as he did with every PTSD episode or panic attack. Quietly, the book lover began to whimper and huddled like a pile of misery on the cold floor of the supermarket. Filou looked around searching, Paul was nowhere to be seen and his owner had not given him the order to look for him. He pushed his snout sideways through his hands and kept licking his face, wagging his tail and looking around again, then barked loudly once, actually he was only allowed to do that on command, but hopefully Paul would hear him and come here.

He was just about to choose his eye shadow...should he rather uses light blue or pink? What would go better with his outfit the next time he accompanied Leo to a doctor's appointment? But when he heard the loud barking of the dog, he immediately looked around and immediately ran in the direction from which the loud sound had come. It wasn't a minute before he had already taken his steady boy in his arms and held him carefully. Leo had often had a panic attack, usually during doctor's appointments or after a catheter was inserted, but also often when Paul was a few minutes late or when the situation was too much for him. This was the fourth panic attack in a month and Paul secretly knew it would not stop there. Even though Leo recovered from an attack quite quickly, he was always very sad and quiet afterwards. Now he sat trembling on the floor of the supermarket and pressed himself weakly against the black-haired man.

After a few minutes he had calmed down a bit, he pulled himself up by the shopping basket and then they went on a strict route to the checkout. The older one looked at his lover quietly and supported him a bit, just like Filou did, who ran beside him and looked at him, concentrating only on his master.

As they stood at the till Paul sighed softly. There was a slightly longer queue of people in front of them and he knew that Leo had to sit down somewhere as quickly as possible, not on the floor, but a bench or a chair, as he always did when he had a panic attack.

He reached for the hand of the smaller one and stroked the back of his still slightly trembling hand. Sure, it would take some time but the black-haired man told Leo that they could leave the shop right away. Meanwhile, some people had noticed Filou panting and standing next to his master, still looking up at him. A young child standing behind the gay couple curiously looked at Filou, looked at her mother, who nodded softly and then patted the dog's back with her hands. Sure, nobody could read the patches, because it was not for nothing that the big _'DO NOT PET'_ was written there. It was a reminder not to pet service dogs, as they get distracted and lose focus on their sick dealer.

Paul noticed it immediately and looked at the mother. "Miss, it's a service dog. Please _don't_ let your daughter pet any medical equipment, this dog is vital to my boyfirend's survival," he said in a gentle tone. The mother looked at him silently while the daughter continued to pet the dog and smile. The black-haired man looked from the daughter to Filou and then back to the blonde woman who just shrugged her shoulders.

"It's _only_ a dog. She can pet him," the woman replied mockingly.

The anime fan only shook his head. "No...he is medical equipment. According to the ADA-"

"Oh, you're just making that up," mumbled. "It's also cruelty to animals if you make your dog work for you," she said to Leo who was shocked by the woman's statement and looked down at his Australia Shepherd who put a front paw on his knee and did so several times.

A sign that Leo was not well at the moment, but this time more physical than psychological. His heart was beating wildly against his chest and he noticed his vision becoming blurred. Silently, he grabbed the shopping basket and looked down while his continued discussing with his mother. His heart was beating faster and faster and then, when it turned black in his eyes, he tipped over to the left, right into Paul's grip, who reacted amazingly quickly and carefully laid him down on the floor, putting him in the stable side position. This had happened many times before, and just because Filou had been put down by this girl he had not been able to react in time. The mother looked at Leo and rolled her eyes.

"Now he's exaggerating," she said, snorting and carrying on with her daughter while Paul looked after his fiancé. Carefully, he held her hand and waited until he woke up and his heartbeat calmed down again. Of course, they looked at some people, but they didn't bother. Filou lay half on Leo's chest and protected him, making him feel better.

" _Bitch_..." he muttered softly and then looked back at his Leo, who looked at him weakly.

"Help me get up, okay?" he asked softly.

Paul nodded and continued to hold his hand while supporting him and helping him stand up. Then they lined up again and waited in silence, no one talking and only the droning of the music in the background and some unimportant announcements could be heard. The black-haired Japan fan, however, concentrated only on the book lover, leaning against his . They waited almost ten minutes and then Paul put the shopping on the checkout line - they didn't need much, had supplies and everything Leo liked to eat - mostly noodles. Paul wanted to make frames, he loved to cook Japanese food and did it once a month and of course, Leo helped him with it. He loved to make food with Paul and then eat it on the couch or in bed and watch a movie on the side. Every moment was precious to her, whether it was just a little dance through the living room or a hot shower for two. The older man loved to be clean and sex in the shower was also very appealing to him. Even though sex was not that important anyway.

The cashier only looked at the dog for a moment and didn't pay any attention to him. Filou was still standing quietly next to his owner, who gave him a treat and looked down at him, then helped Paul pack. There weren't that many things, so he could carry them in the rucksack he was carrying on his back. They took the basket away and then - to Leo's delight - they went to the bookshop.

He had his cane in his left hand again and walked quickly but very slowly through the big shop to the English books - he didn't read German ones, because it was just too tiring for him and he didn't want to write to Paul in the middle of his working hours and ask for a suitable translation. Sometimes he flicked through one of Paul's manga, the brown-haired one found the stories interesting, but he preferred books. He also saw anime, but mostly only for Paul. Paul also watched hospital series that Leo loved. They both did everything to make each other happy and that was all that mattered.

As he stopped in front of the bookshelf, he looked around and picked out the books that had an interesting blurb. He never went back to the book cover. He had a collection of over 250 books, all sorted by the author on a white shelf in the living room - as Paul's study is his so-called 'little empire', there was no room for them. In this room, he always gambled or worked from home if he could. It was a pink dream, with lots of stuffed animals and manga on the shelves. There were also figures, DVD'S, posters hanging on the walls and somehow the confirmed room was all over the flat. But it was also a very small room and Paul sometimes felt bad because he had his room but Leo didn't. But he had the whole bedroom to himself day and night and he was happy about it. The flat was perfect for the two of them, even if Paul wanted to move, because if it went on like this he would have to carry Leo up and down the stairs every time and if he needed a wheelchair in the long run, it was even more exhausting. He did not want to move, because this flat had many memories that he did not want to lose. Like the little stain on the kitchen floor that Paul had once caused while cooking, or the small shower tub in which the two young men had often bathed together.

"You know you don't have to restrain yourself, right? Because you look at the books as if you want them. Paul pointed to a slipcase of eight books, it was one of Leo's kitschy romance books he always left behind. On the box, it said 'EXCLUSIVE'. The spectacle wearer just sighed softly and shook his head.

"The box won't run away from me...after all, nobody here reads English books..." he said only gently.

Paul looked at him...he wanted this slipcase, but it cost forty euros and that was a lot of money for both of them. After all, the black-haired man earned well, but a lot of money went on the car and Filou. But no matter how expensive something was, he would buy anything for Leo. So he reached for the collection slipcase and didn't even look at the chronically ill man, because he just shook his head and said that it was much too expensive for him.

"Leo leave it..." he just said and looked down at the smaller man. Through the brown-haired man's round glasses, the green, sparkling eyes looked so innocent and sweet, as if he were a little puppy. The young man then embraced the larger man and looked up at him, leaning his chin against the other man's chest while the latter pressed a kiss on his 's head.

"You're the best Paul" he muttered sweetly, causing the young man to smile and gently caress the cheek of his beloved.

"All for you, my angel," the black-haired office worker replied. He didn't believe in angels, but he sometimes called Leo an angel. Because as pure and sweet as this one was, he just had to be an angel.

He did not grow up religiously, not even Leo who was lucky to have two men as parents. They knew since he was a little child that he had a homosexual inclination and accepted it, even went with him to the Pride Parade and supported him in every decision he made. Just like the parade, which had only been possible thanks to his fathers.

"Come on, pick out a few more single volumes, they're on me too", he just said. They still had enough money at the moment, it was the end of the month and Paul had just received his salary.

"No, that's enough already...", he just said with a smile and wanted to reach for the somewhat heavy slipcase. But the anime fan held it firmly in his grip.

"You'll get it later," he said. At Christmas, to be more precise. That was the perfect present for the young man. Like every year Paul would give him lots of books, jumpers and other small things. While Leo always bought him a figure of an anime character. This year he had a nice, big figure of a girl with cat ears...and a cat tail...Paul always called them ' _Neko Girls_ '. Since he didn't know anything about anime or manga, he had simply bought him a figurine on eBay and it had arrived. In perfect condition, with a box on which something Japanese was written. Perfect.

"When?" he asked curiously and stood on his tiptoes, but could not reach the other person's lips to touch them with his lips.

"You'll find out soon enough..." he murmured and kissed him softly again, while Filou looked at his owner well-behaved, but looked around briefly.

After a few minutes, Leo had picked out all the books and put them in the little basket Paul had brought. The black-haired man accompanied the brown-haired man to the small red armchair that stood next to the children's books. Filou lay down next to the armchair and looked at his owner, who was looking at Paul.

He went to the large manga shelf and looked around, took some single volumes and read them briefly through the blurb. He was most interested in those that had sweet actions - he wasn't interested in sex in yaoi manga, even if it was part of it. The young man took a few and pondered while his eyes wandered over the shelf. He took a few more volumes from a series he was reading. In the end, he had 8 volumes in his hands and then he went back to Leo, who stood up with a smile on his face with the help of a walking stick. Filou also stood up immediately and wagged his tail. He got a treat from his owner and then they went to the cash desk.

This time they didn't have to look at them or were looked at funnily. When they were finished, Paul carried the bag of books and manga and held the hand of the young man, who leaned lightly against him. After only a few minutes they were looked at again in a funny way, while Leo slowed down a bit as the strength in his legs slackened and Paul supported him. The Aussie stopped well-behaved when his master also stopped and looked around, a car drove past them and then they went on. As the young man unlocked the car and removed the leash that was tied around Leo's shoulder, he helped the man with heart disease to sit down. The Blue Merle panting happily as the anime fan opened the back door of the car and the dog on the seat jumped. He fastened Filou's seatbelt and then looked at his lover who was already waiting for him and turned on the radio.

As the young man sat down next to the smaller book lover, he bent slightly to the side to kiss him on the cheek. No matter how hard it was, they would always stay together. No matter how sick Leo was, Paul would.

Always nurse and love him. That he was not healthy did not bother him. He would always stay by his side and always accept and support him. No matter what happens.

Because their love was stronger than anything else, and that was all that mattered.


End file.
